Breakfasts guaranteed to cure your hangover

Hate to burst your bubbles, folks. The science is in, and whether it is caffeine in the west, pickled plums in Japan, tripe soup in Romania, or pickled herring in Germany, there's really not much you can do to cure a hangover besides hydrate, rest, and maybe pop a couple ibuprofen tablets (acetaminophen, like Tylenol, isn't ideal because it further taxes your liver, and haven't you put your liver through enough lately?).

But psychologically, some of us just get a hankering down deep in our bellies for something that will revive us to a point where we're a little closer to not feeling like a chewed wad of bubble gum. It may be something cheesy, or something greasy. Something sweet could be called for, or maybe you're the type to seek out a replenishment of the vitamins and minerals you lost during the night. If you can muster the trip to the kitchen, here are some ideas that will get you a little more up and at 'em this morning...

Eggs

If all you can manage is the simplest of scrambled eggs, go for it. If you want to jazz them up into something creamier, whip in a dollop of herb-filled Boursin, a decadent French cream cheese. A handful of shredded cheddar, or a spoonful of sour cream will also give you a richer, weekend-worthy plate without much more effort.

If you have a little more in the old gas tank, you can upgrade to an omelette. My go-to would be filled with spinach, onions, tomatoes, and feta cheese, but you could also check out this compilation over at Delish which showcases over 50 omelette ideas, including a gut-filling Philly cheesesteak omelette, a sweet potato and black bean omelette, and a super-hangover-friendly two-minute mug omelette that you make in the microwave.

Sandwiches

What could be better when you're deep in the depths of a wicked hangover than a hand-held breakfast that doesn't even require utensils?

Bon Appetit's "best breakfast sandwich" includes sausage patties, scrambled eggs, and American cheese slices atop an English muffin, with just a touch of class in the addition of chopped fresh chives. My personal favorite for a hangover breakfast sandwich calls for mounds of fresh, ripe avocado layered with bacon and a fried egg, served on a toasted everything bagel. 

If you're lucky enough to be getting out of the house to nurse your hangover, check out this article over at Thrillist highlighting the 21 best breakfast sandwiches in the country, including a mac n' hash sammy in Philadelphia, fried spicy chicken on a biscuit in Nashville, or a ham and bacon sandwich on grilled cinnamon buns in Del Mar, California.

Tacos and burritos

If you have some spare corn or flour tortillas in the cupboard, consider whipping up a satisfying plate of breakfast burritos or tacos to ease your hangover blues.

Huffington Post has a delicious round-up of breakfast taco recipes, including tacos with fried avocado, beef brisket, shredded turkey, chorizo & potatoes, and a zucchini and egg scramble. If it's a breakfast burrito you crave, just a little forethought means you could just reach into your freezer for one of these freezer breakfast burritos from Damn Delicious, stuffed to the gills with tater tots, sausage, refried beans and two kinds of cheese. If you require something vegan, but still satisfying, try this high-protein vegan breakfast burrito from Oh She Glows, packed with extra-firm tofu, diced potato, and crimini mushrooms.

Casseroles

The perfect choice if entertaining a group of imbibing friends for the weekend. Whip up one of these casseroles the day before, pop it in the fridge, and simply bake in the morning (or early afternoon) for a hangover-friendly feast for a hungover crowd.

Midwest Living presents their list of eggy breakfast casserole favorites, like a casserole with caramelized onions and broccoli, a hearty gluten-free dish of polenta and sausage, or a baked casserole of croissants stuffed with bacon and cheese.

For a carb-a-licious, prize-winning breakfast casserole, check out this hash brown casserole recipe from Taste of Home, made with cubed ham, frozen hash browns, and evaporated milk. Serve topped with a fried egg or your favorite jarred salsa, or both.

French toast, waffles, and pancakes

Prefer something a little sweeter to get you back on your feet?

I'm much more of a savory breakfast person myself, but if you throw Nutella into the mix, all bets are off. This Nutella-stuffed French toast from Two Peas and Their Pod is made with classic French bread and topped with a salted caramel syrup. Yum.

If you trust yourself to handle the waffle iron, you could go with a classic buttermilk waffle, made with all-purpose flour and buttermilk. If you care to be a tad more adventurous, check out this article right here on Mashed for all of the other fantastic things you may have never considered stuffing in your waffle iron, like stuffing, mac and cheese, and falafel.

If you're looking for that delightful combination of salty and sweet, how about a stack of savory pancakes? Buzzfeed griddles up a bunch including pumpkin-cheddar, zucchini-corn, and carrot pancakes with salted yogurt.

Oatmeal

Well, I suppose there are bound to be some of you that want a little more, you know, nourishment for the headache-free day you hope to embark upon.

 My own favorite oatmeal creation would be slow cooked Irish oats topped with coconut flakes and chocolate chips. Fit Foodie Finds rounds up a collection of 50, (that's right, count 'em, 50!) tummy-filling oatmeal creations that should nurse you back into tip top shape. Some of the most tantalizing include brownie batter swirl overnight oats, buttery baked oatmeal, cherry almond cookie dough oatmeal, and even a savory baked oatmeal with mushrooms, bacon and caramelized onions.

Smoothies

If your hangover has been poorly thought out, and you have actual obligations today, you're going to need to take this show on the road. You may be tempted to rely on an enormous cuppa java to get you through the morning, but with just a teensy bit more effort, you could upgrade yourself to a nutrient-filled smoothie that you whip up all by yourself.

Self promises a pharmacist-approved hangover cure with a smoothie recipe prescribed to them by NYC's Stanley's Pharmacy. A blended combo of coconut oil, Greek yogurt, fruits, veggies, and chia seeds provides a vitamin-packed energy boost to send you on your way.

The gang at Eat Drink Live Well must know a thing or two about hangovers, because they have three smoothie recipes to cure your hangover blues, including chocolate mango, easy greens, and watermelon refresher.

Yogurt

Could some simple yogurt get you to the other side of this hangover? Those belly-friendly probiotics may just soothe the pain of those 3 a.m. disco fries. So what have you got to lose, except your hangover?

Daily Burn highlights ten homemade yogurt parfaits that are sure to surpass just ripping off a tin-foil topper from a plastic cup. The combinations include mango and cocoa, peanut butter and jelly, coconut and quinoa, and blueberries layered with crumbled graham cracker crumbs.

Need something a little more simple? The folks at Eat This, Not That swear that all you need to get you through this challenging morning is some Greek yogurt topped with a half a banana. They promise this quick and creamy pairing will ease the simultaneous hunger and nausea brought on by your raucous shenanigans from the night before.

Hair of the dog

Despite the fact that there is literally no science to prove that an alcohol hangover should be tended to with even more alcohol, there are some people who persist in honoring this hallowed tradition. And I have to admit, I am often one of them.

So, what's the best poison to take the edge off? For me, it's a homemade bloody Mary. None of that pre-bottled mixer for me, I want my tomato juice blended with horseradish, plenty of celery salt, Worcestershire sauce, and a squeeze of sriracha, and I would not object to a dill pickle spear for a garnish. I am a traditionalist when it comes to my bloodies, of course. Check out Extra Crispy's list of the 17 most insane bloody Mary toppings they could rustle up, like waffles, pickled asparagus, pulled pork sliders, chicken wings, cheeseburgers, powdered donuts, and even an entire fried softshell crab. All those crazy toppings make for a great photo, but I think I'll hold out for the bloody Mary topped with a deep-fried packet of Advil.