Hidden Valley Ranch Is Selling This Ridiculous Holiday Gift For $900

Is anyone on your holiday gift list a real ranch dressing lover? The kind of person who not only dunks their veggies, douses their salads, and dips their hot wings in this buttermilk-based dressing (despite the fact that this last-named act is considered sacrilege in blue cheese-biased Buffalo), but even bases their choice of restaurant on which has the best ranch? Well, in that case, we've got some great news: Hidden Valley has released its 2020 gift collection.

And if you happen to be bathing in big bucks, not to mention really, really fond of that ranch lover in your life, here's some even better news: This year Hidden Valley is taking a page out of Neiman Marcus' (or, more recently, Costco's) book and offering a crazy expensive "fantasy gift." Should you be willing to fork out $900 for the "Hidden Valley Ranch for Life" experience, you, or your gift recipient, will get one HVR-themed fridge as well as 25 bottles of ranch dressing delivered for the next five years (the first shipment even includes a selection of HVR dips and seasonings) and $600 worth of gift cards or cash delivered in 2025 to fund a lifetime's worth of salad dressing.

Sadly, the fridge is already sold out, but Hidden Valley has more merch

Believe it or not, HVR fans gobbled up this deal like a slice of ranch-covered pizza, and whatever limited number of fridges they had are all gone. What you can still get, however, is your choice of holiday-themed, personalized bottles of Hidden Valley Ranch Original Ranch. Each one is priced at $15, which, admittedly, is on the high side for salad dressing, but then, for each bottle purchased, HVR donates the entire $15 to the charity Feeding America.

If gift-boxed custom dressing still doesn't seem like the solution to all your gifting needs, the Ranch Shop also offers $50 holiday sweater (yes, an ugly one) featuring either a ranch bottle donning a Santa hat on a field of green or ranch bottles. There is one with a ranch dressing menorah in Hanukkah blue, too. They also offer holiday socks, holiday onesies, holiday cards, holiday pillows, non-holiday but nonetheless HVR-themed clothing sized infant through adult, and even some HVR doggie gear in case your pooch is a ranch fan, too. 

About the only thing they're missing is ranch dressing-flavored candy canes. Ah well, you can always pick up a box of pizza canes (from Archie McPhee, the same folks who brought you ketchup canes) and dip them in some of that holiday ranch for a very special Hidden Valley holiday.