The Time Pineapples Gave Cracker Barrel Bad Press

Pineapples may be seen as perfect for cute and artisan designs, but those sharp green weapons poised on top look more vicious than a hitman with a grudge. Pineapples are so often and easily chopped apart by humans, but what happens if they decide to launch a counterattack, slicing us up with their leaves of terror? Not even an every-day-of-the-week gym hero could save us from that tragedy.

As bizarre as the possibility seems, violent outbursts from vindictive pineapples are not unheard of – sort of. With gift shops making a significant amount of money for Cracker Barrel, it's of little surprise that among all the rocking chairs, glitter globes, plate-shaped owls, and other colorful products for sale, something occasionally goes wrong. A particular type of mishap led to Cracker Barrel being forced to recall dangerous novelty pineapples, reports the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC).

An apparent design flaw with pineapples made out of driftwood (formed into a pinecone-shaped base) and galvanized metal strips (representing pineapple leaves) meant that all of the roughly 1,500 $40 gifts had to be recalled because customers could slice their fingers on the metal leaves.

Cracker Barrel was mocked for its unsafe pineapples

The CPSC reports Cracker Barrel pulled its sharp pineapples after two unsuspecting people cut their fingers on the spiky leaves (one of whom required stitches). Purchasers had the option to return the item to any Cracker Barrel store for a full refund.

Predictably, Cracker Barrel suffered criticism and ridicule in coverage of the incident. Vice described the pineapples as being "bloodthirsty," while MyRecipes reported them as being "too dangerous to have in your home." AP News referred to the faux fruits as "killer pineapples," and Patch seemingly hinted at an infamous Cracker Barrel salmonella scandal by reassuring readers that at least the injuries wouldn't "make you so sick you want to die, unlike some of the food subject to a spate of recalls for salmonella and other contaminants."

Despite the recall, at least one outlet didn't seem to hold the pineapples responsible for the injuries: Whiskey Riff pulls no punches in blaming the people choosing to grab hold of metal spikes.