Unhealthiest thing you can order at your favorite fast food chain

Ah, fast food. It's greasy, it's unfulfilling and it's bad for you — but damn, is it hard not to love it. Anyone who tells you they never indulge in a KFC or a Pizza Hut or a Subway every now and again is either lying or a saint. Still, just because you sometimes give into temptation doesn't mean you have to get yourself killed while doing so.

Nowadays, plenty of chains offer lighter, "healthier" options, such as salads, low-fat meals and other such menu items designed to be a part of a more nutrition-conscious world. They're the good guys. These… are the bad guys. They're the carb explosions; the calorie tanks; the quagmires of sodium and fat that'll just as soon put you in an early grave as they will fill you up. They may look tempting, sure, but that's the whole point: the Devil comes in many forms. Order at your peril.

The McDonald's Sweet BBQ Bacon with Buttermilk Crispy Chicken

It's probably no surprise to find that there's a lot of competition for this title at McDonald's. Between the Big Macs and the McFlurries and the breakfast burritos, there's bound to be plenty on their menu that'll give your doctor a heart attack of his own. The crown, however, has got to go to the Sweet BBQ Bacon with Buttermilk Crispy Chicken. Let's run through the ingredients: fried chicken, of course, with smoked bacon, crispy onions, BBQ sauce, cheddar cheese and an artisan roll. It's basically a meal in a sandwich.

And what does that set you back? A whopping 830 calories, 39 grams of fat (over half your guideline daily amount), 80 grams of carbs and 1,760 milligrams of sodium, which constitutes just under 75 percent of your daily allowance. All in all, not great — but, trust us, you're about to see so much worse. Yeah, you heard right: McDonald's doesn't offer anything quite as bad as some restaurants in the fast food world. And that is surprising.

KFC's Infamous Bowl

Now this is a bit of a shock, too. Considering KFC has their own expansive range of decadent, greasy meals, the last thing you might expect to top the nutrition chart (or bottom it, depending on your perspective) is this innocuous little bowl of chicken and potatoes. The whole KFC Famous Bowl consists of mashed potatoes and sweet corn peppered with bite-size pieces of fried chicken, layered with gravy and topped with three different types of cheese. OK, no, never mind. We can totally see how that's unhealthy.

Yep, the KFC Death Bowl contains a whopping 710 calories, 82 grams of carbs, 31 grams of fat and 2,450 milligrams of sodium. While we're not quite topping the daily allowance for men or women here, we're definitely making a hefty contribution towards it — especially if you eat it as a side dish and not the main entree. Stick with the popcorn bites, we say. Or, better yet, eat a tomato or something.

Burger King's Rodeo King Burger

Now we're cooking with gas. Here we have Burger King, speeding ahead of McDonald's and KFC in the race to an early grave with this: the Rodeo King Burger. Just look at it. Seriously, look at it. That thing hates you. It was designed to hate you. It's a perfect machine built solely to exterminate whichever poor soul is forced to consume it; the culinary equivalent of the T-800. Half a pound of beef, three strips of bacon, onion rings, BBQ sauce and two slices of cheese, all contained within two buns, optimistically topped with a smattering of sesame seeds.

So what's Charon's price here? 1,250 calories, 82 grams of fat, 31 grams of saturated fat, 69 grams of carbs and 2,270 milligrams of sodium. No single item on Burger King's menu comes close. Remember that name: Rodeo King. If you're not careful, it might be the last thing you ever say.

Taco Bell's Beef Nacho Box

Well, what do you expect? It's a box full of nachos. Specifically, it's a box full of nachos, beef, nacho cheese, pico de gallo, sour cream, refried beans and a special three-cheese blend. (Though don't forget you can always add guac, jalapenos, potatoes and shredded chicken if that, for some indiscernible reason, still isn't enough!) Your calorific intake for the beef version of this Taco Bell order is 1,100: over half of a 2,000 calorie per day diet, plus you've got all this contend with, too: 57 grams of fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 1920 milligrams of sodium and an incredible 118 grams of carbs.

If that all sounds too much for you, then the chicken and steak alternatives to the Beef Nachos Box will do you a little better — but with the word "little" doing a lot of heavy lifting, here; you'll save around 50 calories with each. Not exactly the strictest dietary regime in the world, is it?

Wendy's Triple Fresh Hamburger

It's not hard to spot Wendy's most dangerous dish — in fact, you can see it from miles and miles away. Go on, take a look. Can you see that entire cow sandwiched precariously between two buns? The one with a lettuce hat? Yep, that's it: Dave's Triple Fresh Hamburger. This unyielding creation consists of three quarter pound patties plus a number of toppings, including cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, onions and pickles. Bubbling under the surface, you've also got 1,090 calories, 71 grams of fat, 43 grams of carbs and 1,650 milligrams of sodium.

It's definitely not as bad as some of the other items on this list — and seems downright healthy when you stick it next to the 18" Meat Lover's Crime — but you still really shouldn't be eating half your guideline amount of calories in just one burger — and definitely not with a hefty side of fries.

Subway's Chicken and Bacon Ranch Melt

Considering their whole shtick is customizable sandwiches, you wouldn't expect Subway to have anything on their menu that can quite match up to some of the stuff fast food places are peddling these days. But you'd be wrong — very, very wrong indeed. This is the Chicken and Bacon Ranch Melt: a menu item which, considering it's basically just a wrap, has absolutely no right to be as unhealthy as it is. It's filled with chicken, bacon, cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, red onions and green peppers (not an inconsequential number of fillings, sure) but somehow manages to tally up a staggering 850 calories, 42 grams of fat, 2,380 milligrams of sodium and 56 grams of carbs.

We're trying our best to figure out where that all comes from, honestly. Is it the bacon? Or the cheese? Or whatever the heck they've been marinating that chicken in? Either way, something's up here — and it smells like calories.

Pizza Hut's Meat Lover's Pizza

We're a little worried that we may have exhausted our hyperbole with the Rodeo King, leaving us high and dry when it comes to describing this particular monstrosity. The Meat Lover's Pizza is bad enough: it's got pepperoni, Italian sausage, beef, seasoned pork, ham, bacon and mozzarella — easily enough meat to send you into a prolonged food coma. And we mean a proper one, too, like the kind where you wake up after ten years to find the world has ended or something.

But that's nothing compared to the 18" version of the Meat Lover's Pizza. If you're somehow able to devour the whole thing, you'll have just garnered yourself an almost literally unbelievable 5,340 calories (a day's worth for almost three people), 259 grams of fat (that's 398 percent of your daily allowance), 111 grams of saturated fats (555 percent of you DA) and 11,060 milligrams of sodium (around 460 percent). Please, for the love of all that is holy: do not eat one of these by yourself. Do not eat half of one of these by yourself. Step back, think about what you're doing and maybe call to tell your mother that you love her.

Chick-fil-A's Peach Milkshake

What have we seen so far, then? Towering burgers, hefty nacho boxes, pizzas with their own area codes and more. So far, so predictable. Let's give a hearty kudos, then, to Chick-fil-A, for managing to get a milkshake onto this list. Specifically, their peach milkshake: made from the restaurant's own "Icedream," real peaches, whipped cream and a cherry. Chick-fil-A describe it as "refreshing." We'd describe it as "calamitous." Seriously, come on — it's a milkshake. It's got peaches in it. It really ought not to be almost as bad for you as a bowl of cheese, mashed potato and fried chicken.

You see, by consuming a whole regular size peach milkshake, you'll be allowing 670 calories, 22 grams of fat and 106 grams of carbs into your life. Not the end of the world, no, but you're still probably better off buying your own peaches and making a smoothie at home. It's just as delicious and, like, ten times as healthy.

Arby's Triple Decker

Let's run through every ingredient inside the Arby's Triple Decker. Ready? Deep breath: turkey, ham, beef, onions, lettuce, tomatoes, mustard, cheddar cheese, swiss cheese, bacon, mayo and wheat bread. It's a wonder that the thing doesn't just fall over. Seriously, it's like a skyscraper filled to the brim with vegetables and animals and cheeses and sauces. Which, come to think of it, actually sounds kind of awesome. Then again, why shouldn't it? The Triple Decker is by far the most appetizing thing to have appeared on our list so far — probably because it's not dripping with grease.

So what are the nutritional stats like? It has 1,030 calories, 155 milligrams of cholesterol, 2,940 milligarms of sodium and 51 grams of fats. Arby's themselves insist that you can handle the Triple Decker because "you don't scare easy." Show's what they know, though. We just freaked out over a peach milkshake.

Dairy Queen's Caramel Storm

The unhealthiest thing to appear on Dairy Queen's menu is, by quite some way, the Honey BBQ Glazed Chicken Strip Basket. A recent addition to the Dairy Queen menu, this item consists of a number of marinated chicken strips served with Texas toast, fries and dipping sauce. The whole thing contains 1,600 calories, 80g grams of fat and 110 milligrams of cholesterol. We understand, however, that it is technically a meal (fries are fries, after all!) so for Dairy Queen's real worst offender, (as in, one solitary item) we'll have to turn to the sweet stuff.

Say hello to the Salted Caramel Truffle Blizzard. This tower of terror contains 1410 calories (if you order a large), 65 grams of fat and enough cholesterol, sugar and sodium to knock you out. Probably. Lesson here? No matter how tempting and salted and caramel-filled something may be, never, ever order anything that the restaurant names after a type of storm. No blizzard is a good thing.

Sonic's Oreo Oreo Peanut Butter Shake

Oh, goodness. It's all happening with the desserts right now, isn't it? Sonic Drive-In has its fair share of dangerous choices on the menu — including an incredible 24-piece basket of chicken, a bacon double cheeseburger and a meat-laden breakfast burrito — but by far the most shocking of all is the Oreo Peanut Butter Shake. Sonic calls it "real ice cream mixed with rich peanut butter and Oreos into a thick and creamy shake, finished with whipped topping and a cherry."

Look closer, though, and you'll find (in the large version) 1,870 calories, 117 grams of fat, 190 grams of cholesterol and 178 grams of carbs. That cherry isn't going to do you much good after all that, is it? And not many of the other shakes do much better: their Oreo Chocolate Shake contains 1,570 calories and their Strawberry Cheesecake Shake has 1,370, but the Peanut Butter variety certainly takes the cake. Not that you'll need it.

Carl's Jr's Thickburger

This is the 1/2lb Guacamole Bacon Thickburger from Carl's Jr. Yes, it's as bad as it sounds. Half a pound of beef with two strips of bacon, melted cheese, lettuce, tomato, red onions, Santa Fe sauce and guacamole all served within a bun that, at this point, might as well be made of lard. It comes with 1,200 calories, naturally (as if you'd accept any fewer than 1,000, come on) 89 grams of fat, 165 milligrams of cholesterol and 51 grams of carbs.

What were you expecting, though? It's called the "Thickburger." And it says "bacon" right there in the name. Why they've chosen to include guacamole in the title is beyond us, though — why throw that in there rather than doubling down on the grossness of it all? They'd have been better off calling it the 1/2lb Bacon Bacon Melted Beef Thickburger instead. Then you'd know damn well what you were getting yourself in for.