The dumbest kitchen gadgets Amazon brainwashed you into purchasing

We don't know about you, but we often find ourselves influenced by Amazon reviewers when buying new products. After all, how can you ignore a kitchen gadget with over 14,000 mostly positive reviews? That product must be totally amazing, right? But the more we looked into some of these well-reviewed items, the more we realized how useless they were. Other essential kitchen items, like knives, measuring spoons, utensils, peelers, pots, and pans, can accomplish all the tasks that the items on this list promise to achieve. 

Although Alton Brown would vehemently disagree with us here, we do believe that certain unitaskers are helpful. Wine openers, for example, only function to open bottles of wine, but there isn't really a better way to accomplish that task. Other gadgets have us questioning our collective sanity, and lead us to wonder why we let Amazon brainwash us into thinking we need them in the first place.

If you were to take the word of the thousands of Amazon reviewers, you absolutely need all of the kitchen gadgets on this list. But we think you don't. You might disagree with us on a few of these — you could be one of those reviewers that can't live without this gadget — but we simply can't believe people are actually buying these products.

Onion chopper and pro vegetable chopper

Here's the thing: It's hard to ignore the opinion of 14,000 people. Yes, over fourteen THOUSAND people bought this onion chopper, used it, and took time out of their busy day to review this product. And 80 percent of them were all, "Heck yeah, I can't live without my onion chopper!" and gave the product a five-star rating. If nothing else, it makes us realize how much people really hate using knives.

So why aren't we sold into thinking we need an onion chopper? First of all, everything this gadget can do can be done just as well (or better) with a chef's knife. The gadget only functions to dice vegetables in two sizes, but it won't slice, quarter, or mince vegetables — like a knife can. And if the onion or potato is too large to fit into the gadget, you'll have to slice it in half with a knife anyway. 

Add in the fact that it looks annoying to clean and takes up way more storage space than a knife, and we just don't think it's worth it. It might save a little chopping time in the short run, but we promise you that you'll pick up speed and accuracy if you take the time to practice with a knife. Before you know it, you'll be chopping, dicing, and slicing just as quickly without having to clean in between the tiny, sharp blades of this monstrosity.

All-in-one avocado slicer

We get it — people love avocados. And we're right there with you: We're equally obsessed with dipping chips into guacamole, adding avocado to our burgers, and (of course) eating our weight in avocado toast. In 2018, Mexico exported 2.5 billion pounds of avocados to the United States alone (according to Avocados from Mexico). So, it's only natural that an all-in-one avocado slicer would amass over 6,000 reviews on Amazon. Why might you need this gadget? According to the reviewers, the blade on this slicer is sharp enough to cut through an avocado without being able to slice your hand. They also love how the all-in-one tool can remove the pit and create perfect avocado slices with the "fan blade."

Now, we will say that "avocado hand" is a real thing: Holding an avocado in your hand and attempting to slice it or remove the pit with a sharp knife sends close to 9,000 people to the ER each year. But that doesn't mean you need a gadget that's sole function is to slice avocados. It's easy enough to use a cutting board, carefully cut around the avocado with a regular knife, and remove the pit with a spoon. So, do yourself a favor; save your money for buying more avocados and skip this gadget.

Banana slicer

When this banana slicer gadget first came to our attention, we couldn't help but laugh. It seems so ridiculous! First off, who eats enough bananas to make it worth it to have a gadget that only exists to slice bananas? Nothing else would be soft enough to work with this plastic tool. And is it really that hard to slice a banana with a knife? You don't even need a sharp knife — a butter knife will do! But almost 6,000 reviewers made us second guess our instincts, and we were almost brainwashed into spending the measly $5 to see if the hype was worth it.

Luckily, taking the time to read some of the 5,800 reviews was enough to snap us out of our stupor. They're hilarious! One reviewer warned to be careful of using the product on "wrong-way" bananas. More than a few claimed the product didn't come with directions, and they tried to cut the banana before peeling it, creating "a gooey mess." Our favorite was the person who thanked the manufacturer; now they don't have to "worry about loosing [sic] a finger or an occasional body part. Slicing bananas no longer resembles a scene from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre." Apparently, the reviewers think this banana slicer is just as ridiculous as we do.

Meat shredding claws

Cooking can be overwhelming at times, especially if you're preparing food for a crowd. Making something like pulled pork can be especially nerve-wracking. What if you're using your grill or smoker wrong, and the pork shoulder never gets tender? How do you decide which barbecue sauce your friends will like most? And, most importantly, how to you shred the pork without making a mess?

If you were to listen to the 4,700 reviewers on Amazon, buying a pair of meat shredding claws is essential to pulling this dish off. The claws fit in your hands and are "the answer to perfectly shredded meat without the mess and headache of knives and forks." And they work for chicken, pork, beef, and more! It all sounds compelling, but you're falling into a trap if you spend $13 on these things. When meat is cooked to the proper temperature, it practically shreds itself. You can easily shred pork with two forks, a set of tongs, or even your hands. It's called fall-off-the-bone-tender for a reason. No need to turn yourself into Wolverine, we promise. 

Rotating pizza oven

Okay, let's set the scene: You're hosting a party this weekend, and you promised to cook dinner. Unfortunately, the only things you know how to cook are instant ramen and Hamburger Helper. Whatever will you do? Wouldn't it be great to make homemade pizza...if only you had a pizza oven! Luckily, you can pop onto Amazon and have one at your doorstep in just two days.

Considering that you do have a pizza oven — it's called your oven — we can't think of a single reason why 4,700 people think they need a countertop rotating pizza oven. The tray "turns continuously to ensure even heating," but wouldn't you get more even heating if, say, you put the pizza in an actual oven? You know, where it's constantly surrounded by heat?

Okay, so what about the reviewers that claim they use this pizza oven for all kinds of foods. That should sell you on it, right? Well, the person who makes toast with it reminds you to "keep an eye out and flip it after a minute or so" if you like your toast browned on both sides (which, most of us do). It's a shame we don't appliance that can toast both sides at once. And the one who likes square pizzas cautions it's "a struggle unless you cut off the corners slightly." 

By the time we read a few people's comments that the oven is wobbly if the food isn't evenly distributed, we had fully decided that there's no way this gadget is worth its $50 price tag.

Electric potato peeler

Remember that one time when you peeled so many potatoes that your hand literally fell off? Gosh, wasn't that the worst? Wouldn't it be great if you had access to a gadget that would peel potatoes, apples, cucumbers, peaches, kiwis, and more, all without having to use your hands? As luck would have it, such a gadget exists! It's the electric potato peeler, and over 4,000 Amazon reviewers think it's totally worth purchasing.

Here's the problem: This thing is 6.3 x 6.5 x 11 inches, which isn't the largest gadget in the world, but it is somewhere in between the size of an electric can opener and a small coffee pot. Where are you going to store it? Do you really peel enough potatoes to leave it out on the counter all the time? Do you really hate peeling potatoes that much? 

You also might want to ask yourself if there's an easier way to peel potatoes — like boiling them with the skins on and letting the skins slide off when they're cooked. If that doesn't work for you, a hand peeler works just as well at peeling all these vegetables and is available for a fraction of the cost. Plus, it stores easily in any drawer and doesn't require an electrical outlet to work. Hmmm, I think that brainwashing is starting to wear off....

Hands-free bag holder

Some products just beg to be made into an as-seen-on-TV infomercial, and the hands-free bag holder is certainly one of them. But, clearly, 3,800 people felt the need to give this gadget a try anyway. Perhaps the $10 price tag gave people that "why not?" mentality about this product. Or maybe people really do struggle to get food into plastic bags. Either way, we almost felt persuaded to pick up a set because of the large number of reviewers.

Good thing we didn't, because this is one of those products that totally tried to suck us into an invisible problem. It seems like it would be challenging to fill a plastic bag with one set of hands — especially when you're filling them with liquid contents like tomato sauce or soup — so we stepped away from the computer to give it a try. It turns out it really wasn't that hard. A large drinking glass worked well enough when we needed an assist, and we already have plenty of those hanging around!

Rapid ramen cooker

Instant ramen is a college student's dream meal. It's inexpensive, even if you add a few ingredients to upgrade it and make a fancier version. Better yet, it's super easy to cook. Add it to boiling water in a saucepan, and it will cook in about two minutes. Or, place it in a bowl and nuke it in the microwave for three minutes. So why — oh why — do over 3,000 people think it's necessary to buy a rapid ramen cooker?

This product literally does everything a regular bowl can do — cook ramen in three minutes in the microwave. And it doesn't even have a lid, so it's not like you can use it to meal prep your ramen and bring it with you to work. It does come with an added bonus, as one reviewer who forgot to add water points out: it "almost caught the microwave on fire." Fantastic!

Grape slicer

Here's another gadget that proves how much people like avoiding their kitchen knives: The grape slicer. Over 2,000 Amazon reviewers love this gadget that "take[s] the hassle out of quartering grapes." Load the grapes (or, grape tomatoes) into the spring-loaded slicer and plunge the top down to cut them, one at a time.

The biggest problem with this gadget — aside from the fact that it takes up space in the gadget drawer — is that it doesn't even save you much time. If it sliced an entire carton of grapes at a time, we might see the appeal. But we find it ridiculous that you still have to pick them off the vine, place them in the slicer one at a time, and push the plunger down for each grape. Add in the fact that some of the reviewers report that the blades don't stay sharp for long, pulverizing them "into a low grade goo," and we're going to skip this one entirely.

Pancake batter dispenser

When it comes to bulky, completely unnecessary gadgets, we think this pancake batter dispenser takes the (pan)cake. For starters, you can't mix batter inside the dispenser: You have to mix it separately and pour it into the dispenser. That means you still have to dirty a bowl when making pancakes, cupcakes, waffles, muffins, crepes, or cake. So why not just use a measuring cup to dispense batter instead of dirtying up a harder-to-clean gadget?

Well, you might be persuaded by the over 2,000 people who love how much easier it is to pour out batter using this bottom-dispensing tool. They claim it saves the mess of pouring from a ladle. But how much less messy can it really be? You still have to clean up an extra tool, and this gadget doesn't look any easier to clean than a measuring cup. Some reviewers also point out that it doesn't work as well for thicker batters, which leaves us wondering, what's the point?

Boiled egg peeler

Considering how many egg gadgets there are out there, you'd think that eggs were the hardest thing for humans to cook. There are dedicated boilers to create hard-boiled eggs, gadgets for separating out yolks, and tools that shape cooked eggs into squares (for some unknown reason). But this boiled egg peeler really takes things to the next level. For the low-low price of $15, you can use it to remove the shell from a hard-boiled egg. But... isn't that also something you can do with, well, hands?

The biggest red flag for this product came in the product description. It instructs you to add a boiled egg and water to the cup, add the lid, and slip the egg out of the shell by shaking the gadget (yes, with the hands you could be using to peel the egg). You need to shake it with enough force so the egg strikes the caps, but they caution you to "take it a little easy, or you will end up with a slushy mess complete with shells." That doesn't sound too appetizing! It sounds like too much trouble to be worth it.

No-mess tuna can strainer

Every once in a while, a gadget is so dumb and useless that we find ourselves at a lack of words. The no-mess tuna can strainer is exactly that gadget. And yet, over a thousand people took the time to review this product. Couple that with its extremely low, $4 price, and you might find yourself being brainwashed into trying it.

Here's the major problem with this gadget: It doesn't do anything that the lid of a can of tuna can't do. Yes, it has tiny little holes for drainage, which the tuna lid does not have. But do you really need to have super dry, perfectly drained tuna fish? Plus, after you use it, you're left with a fishy, smelly gadget stinking up the gadget drawer (even after you've cleaned it). Add in the fact that it fits most — but not all — cans, and we're gonna have to say thanks, but no thanks.

Hands-free electric egg cooker

Whoever invented this hands-free electric egg cooker really didn't understand how easy it is to cook an egg. Here's how it's supposed to work: Plug it in, add some cooking spray, and crack one to two eggs into the cooking chamber — yes, without beating them first. Within a few minutes, a tube of cooked eggs will rise from the chamber. Well, mostly cooked eggs; you have to flip the tube over and continue cooking it for fully cooked yolks. Hmmm.

It sounds difficult to clean, and like it actually takes more work than cooking eggs on the stove top. Not to mention that you can cook eggs more easily and effectively in the microwave. All in all, we feel bad for the 500 people who bought — and reviewed — this product. The person who asked the following question might have offended more than a few of those people, but we think this question really hits the nail on the head: "How inept, sad, lonely, and gullible does one have to be, on a scale of pathetic to total loser, to actually purchase this abomination?" Ouch!

Pickle picker

It has to be hard for inventors in the food gadget-sphere. All the good ideas seem to be taken, leaving only ideas like the pickle picker. Yes, folks, you read that right: It's a fork that's dedicated to doing nothing but helping you remove pickles from the pickle jar. This particular model gets really fancy, too, by rubber banding itself to the side of the jar and including a "caddy" that catches excess pickle drip. Phew, good thing, because otherwise you might lose your all-important pickle picker in the gadget drawer! Do you know what's harder to lose? A fork, which performs the same essential function.

The only thing that surprises us more than the 400 people who reviewed the pickle picker is the fact that it gets mostly positive reviews. Only three percent of reviewers gave it fewer than three stars. Most people felt like this gadget was a game-changer, leading us to believe there's a wave of pickle brainwashers out there making scads of money, $6 at a time.