We Tried Every Sonic Hard Seltzer So You Don't Have To

True Sonic fans know that the chain's drink menu is at least as important as the food. While the tots and Coney dogs have their fans, aficionados of the Sonic experience always come back for the beverages. Of course, the chain's distinctively chewable pellet ice has a cult following, but that's only one of many unique touches the iconic drive-in brings to their drinks. Where else can you customize your soda or slush with chopped fruit, an array of flavor syrups, and Nerds candy? It's the closest most of us will ever get to an old-timey soda fountain.

Sonic has decided to capitalize on its fast-food beverage supremacy by hopping on the hard seltzer bandwagon, releasing a lineup of eight flavors. According to a Sonic press release, the seltzer was originally only available in the company's home state of Oklahoma, but now it can be found in six more states. They generously sent us a couple of cases so we could test out all the flavors and share our results with you.

Ocean Water is perhaps the most distinctive item on Sonic's massive slush menu. No other fast-food place serves anything like it, and the company has copyrighted the drink's name. Some people go to Sonic just for this combination of blue coconut syrup and Sprite that smells vaguely like sunscreen (in a good way). As one of the chain's signature items, this flavor features prominently in Sonic Seltzer's marketing materials. The Sonic Hard Seltzer website contributes to America's worsening polarization by exhorting visitors to publicly declare whether they stand with Team Ocean Water or Team Cherry Limeade. Is this the Edward vs. Jacob of our generation?

We had high hopes for the Ocean Water seltzer going into this taste test, but sadly it was one of the least impressive flavors in the lineup. The original, nonalcoholic version from the drive-in is almost painfully sweet and instantly gives you a brain freeze because of Sonic's magical pellet ice. Since Sonic Hard Seltzers have very little added sugar and no artificial sweeteners, they're all much less sweet than their soft drink equivalents. The lack of sugar really hurts the Ocean Water seltzer, which has notes of savory coconut and sour citric acid with a mildly salty aftertaste. It's more reminiscent of actual ocean water than anything you'd get from Sonic. Count us as firmly Team Cherry Limeade.

We got Big SunnyD and Tang vibes from this. It doesn't taste like orange juice, but rather what you thought "orange juice" was when you were a kid if you grew up on the corn syrup-rich, artificial stuff. That's not a knock on it whatsoever; SunnyD is delicious, and drinking something that kind of has that flavor but also gives you a mild buzz is wonderful.

Sour fake orange dominates this seltzer, with pineapple playing a supporting role. The pineapple notes that are present are less artificial-seeming than the orange, which may contribute to them coming across as more muted. The aftertaste of this one has a distinctive SweeTARTS edge to it that's not unpleasant. Like all the Sonic Seltzers, there's a good level of carbonation in this, which combined with the orange makes it seem like a chiller version of a mimosa (or a classier version of a brass monkey). Overall, it's a solid seltzer, but it's about middle-of-the-pack compared to its siblings.

We expected the plain Limeade seltzer to be kind of boring, but it was actually one of the tastier options. You'd think the Limeade would taste pretty puckery, but it was less sour than some of the other seltzers, with a slightly more soda-like flavor. The first impression reminded us of diluted 7UP, with a pleasant balance of sweet and sour. Although the ingredients on the label didn't include artificial sweeteners, it had a little bit of that kind of flavor, with a saccharine aftertaste that smacked of diet soda. The lime essence in this can is full-flavored, with a citrusy pop and distinctive hints of lime oil.

Of all the Sonic seltzers, this one is the most faithful to its flavor inspiration. The taste is stronger than some of the others, and the extra sweetness really helps sell it as Limeade rather than just another weak-tasting hard seltzer. It would definitely be worth picking up as a standalone six-pack if you had the opportunity.

Sipping this reveals no evidence at all of the raspberry flavor promised by the illustration on the can. Rather, it tastes like a watered-down version of cheap pink lemonade, which is not a bad thing at all. Of course, so-called berry lemonade often doesn't taste like berries, so we won't hold that against it. This one is certainly better than the regular Lemonade seltzer, as it's not painfully sour. If you're a fan of Crystal Light, Mio, or similar flavored water products, you'll probably enjoy this, as it's a dead ringer for Crystal Light Raspberry Lemonade.

Lemon Berry's fatal flaw is that it's just, well, boring. The ratio between sweetness and acidity is properly calibrated, but there's no depth to keep your palate engaged. Limeade excels because it delivers a multifaceted lime experience, offering reasonably convincing facsimiles of the flavors of lime juice and lime zest. In contrast, Lemon Berry feels like a powder you'd add to your Nalgene when you got tired of plain water.