The Most Embarrassing Whiskey-Based Drinks To Order

According to Mark Twain, "Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough." Ask any whiskey drinker and they'll almost certainly agree with the iconic American writer. When you're in the mood for a cocktail, there's nothing like a cocktail made from a nice, smooth whiskey.

The alcoholic beverage gets its name from the Gaelic term uisce beatha, which means "water of life," according to HuffPost. And whiskey-lovers will happily tell you that their favorite brand of choice is exactly that.

There are times when drinking whiskey makes you look totally cool and sophisticated, like the iconic blue-eyed crooner, Frank Sinatra. According to PBS, whiskey was his go-to drink. Sinatra was known to drink two fingers of Jack Daniel's with a splash of water and a few ice cubes. And as the AP reported, when Sinatra passed away in 1998 at age 82, he was even buried with a bottle of his beloved Jack Daniel's in his pocket.

But we can't all be as cool as Ol' Blue Eyes, and there are times when ordering whiskey in a bar can draw all sorts of attention your way — and we're not talking about the good kind, either. Before your next night out at your favorite bar, you should know that there are some whiskey-based drinks you should never consider ordering in public.

These are the most embarrassing whiskey-based drinks to order.

Irish Car Bombs are out

Ordering an Irish Car Bomb in a bar is the perfect way to make yourself look both completely culturally insensitive and totally immature at the same time — not exactly the look you were going for when you sidled up to the bar. In case you've never been to a college party where Irish Car Bombs were the drink of choice, you should know that this drink is more about the show than the taste.

The drink involves dropping a shot glass filled with Jameson Irish Whiskey and Bailey's Irish Cream into a Guinness, according to Cool Material. Irish Car Bombs are meant to be chugged as quickly as possible because once the whiskey, beer, and cream come together, the drink turns into a science experiment and the whole thing begins to curdle. Is your stomach turning yet? If not, it will be once all that hits your stomach.

But even if that all sounds like fun, you should know that the Irish Car Bomb is not a thing in Ireland in all. In fact, you could be perceived as a major jerk if your order one there, because deadly car bombs are a painful reality of the country's past political conflict, according to The New York Times. The drink may not be named after the Bloody Friday attack on Northern Ireland, But Eater says many Irish still take offense at the name.

Whiskey on the rocks isn't the way to go

The next time you're out at a bar, tell the bartender to hold the ice if you don't want to embarrass yourself when you order an expensive shot of whiskey. There are lots of ways to enjoy your drink, but as HuffPost pointed out, whiskey should be served neat in a snifter in order to get the best experience. And although you may not necessarily get laughed out of a bar in the United States for ordering ice with your whiskey, the BBC travel section agreed, suggesting that ordering whisky on the rocks in Scotland will make you "the subject of ridicule."

A glass of room temperature alcohol may not be the most refreshing experience on a summer night out, but while a few cubes of ice will chill your drink, they will also dilute the intensity of the flavor as they melt. If you're going to add anything to your whiskey, try adding a few drops of water (but only a few!) which will enhance the flavor of your drink without reducing any of the cool factor, according to Town & Country.

Of course, in the comfort of your own home, you can enjoy whiskey on the rocks without the "rocks" ruining the flavor of your drink. Keep a set of whiskey stones in the freezer and you'll get the cool liquid and clank of ice without suffering through a watered-down drink.

It's not smart to order Three Wise Men

There are no rules that say your days of downing shots have to end when you move out of the fraternity house. In fact, there's nothing wrong with the occasional celebratory shooter. But the Three Wise Men is a whiskey shot that may make some serious whiskey connoisseurs clutch their pearls. 

The recipe for Three Wise Men calls for equal parts Johnnie Walker, Jim Beam, and Jack Daniel's to be combined into one seriously strong whiskey shooter, according to Cool Material. Considering that you're drinking a bourbon, a Tennessee whiskey, and a Scotch whisky all in one shot, you definitely aren't ordering this drink to experience the flavor of each distinct type of whiskey, and no self-respecting whiskey-drinker would combine these names into one absurd shooter. Plain and simple, you're ordering this drink to get drunk — and fast. And we all know that's just not a good look.

If you really want to double-down on your embarrassing order, try the Three Wise Men Go Hunting shot, an even stronger (and more embarrassing) variation which adds Wild Turkey to this already ridiculous concoction.

Whiskey sours are not for grown-ups

A whiskey sour is a perfectly respectable drink for a person who is just starting out on the bar scene. It's easy to order, easy for the bartender to make, and fairly easy to handle (as long as you don't down too many). The traditional drink is made with bourbon, lemon juice, and simple syrup, according to Bon Appétit.

But if you're over 21, it's time to leave this drink in the past along with your bean bag chair and your shower caddy. And if you do still order whiskey sours, it may be time to find a new go-to drink. As one bartender told the Times Free Press, any person who orders this sweet whiskey cocktail at the bar is definitely going to be judged as an inexperienced drinker, which could be pretty embarrassing for someone who is trying to play it cool.

If you love your whiskey sours and just can't bear to switch to a new drink, HuffPost recommends adding a bit of egg white to this classic cocktail to make it feel a little more mature. Or maybe save the whiskey sours for when you're at home, and ask your favorite bartender to help you find something a little more sophisticated to order when you're out.

Jack and Coke is a joke

When it comes to cocktails, it doesn't get much more classic than Jack and Coke. The time-honored cocktail is made by adding the cola of your choice to a glass with Jack Daniel's Tennessee Whiskey on ice. The drink, which gives you a nice buzz along with a bonus dose of caffeine, was the original Red Bull and vodka before the energy drink was even invented, as Cool Material noted. They also included this cocktail on its list of drinks that a person should never order after reaching the age of 30. It just makes you look like you can't handle the whiskey on its own.

Even if you don't believe you need to find a more adult drink, there is a reason to reconsider your order as you age. While you may not be embarrassed to order Jack and Coke at the bar (we admit, it does have a bit of a classic vibe), you may be embarrassed by some of the things you do if you have too many. Researchers at Brown University conducted a study which found that participants who drank bourbon were more intoxicated (i.e., more willing to do questionable things) and reported worse hangovers than those who drank the same amount of vodka. And all that Coke addition does is make it easier for you to down a lot more Jack Daniel's than you would if you were drinking it straight. 

Alaska Duck Fart is a sweet drink with an awfully sour name

If you order an Alaska Duck Fart at a bar, you should expect that just about anyone — including your bartender — will never take you seriously ever again. How could they? Because what self-respecting adult would order a drink that makes reference to intestinal gas? According to the Anchorage Press, the drink was first created at the Anchorage bar, Peanut Farm. The sound the customer made after drinking the creamy cocktail for the first time is among the theories of how the drink got its silly name.

Besides having a ridiculous name, the Alaska Duck Fart is a dieter's worst enemy. The drink is made with Crown Royal, Irish cream, coffee liqueur, whole milk, ice cream, and whipped topping, according to Tipsy Bartender — a recipe which makes it more of an adult milkshake than a cocktail.

But in all honesty, if you aren't counting calories and you can manage to give the bartender your order out loud with a straight face, you are in for a tasty boozy treat. The food blog My Incredible Recipes calls the drink "amazing" and "probably the best drink I have ever had." Maybe just stick to making this one at home.

It's called an Old Fashioned for a reason

If you're thinking about ordering an Old Fashioned the next time you're out at your local dive bar, think again. For starters, the name sounds like something only your grandfather would drink, and ordering one makes you sound like you've been kidnapped by the late 1800s, which is when a similar drink (made with gin) was first introduced. According to Esquire, the traditional Old Fashioned recipe calls for bourbon or rye whiskey, bitters, a muddled sugar cube, and club soda.  

Grandfatherly tendencies aside, ordering an Old Fashioned at a bar that doesn't specifically have it on the menu may leave you on seriously bad terms with your bartender. Making the perfect Old Fashioned — which is what you expect, of course — can be a lot of work, and could be seriously stressful for an already overworked bartender during the happy hour rush. And as Westword points out, bartenders are likely to give you some serious stink eye if you ask them to "make it the right way." And upsetting the bartender should be enough to embarrass anyone.

Let's face it, the drink is called an Old Fashioned because no one going out to bars in this century should be asking for it.

Apple Jacks should only be for breakfast

Apple Jacks sounds more like something you would eat in a bowl while watching your favorite Saturday morning cartoons than a drink an adult would order at a bar. But, believe it or not, it is a real cocktail — and an embarrassing one at that. The recipe, which can be found on the Jack Daniel's website, combines Jack Daniel's Old No. 7 Tennessee Whiskey with apple juice. The cocktail is served over ic,e and is finished with an apple slice for garnish.

No matter how amazing the apple juice flavor pairs with the caramel and spice notes of the whiskey, this is not a drink you want to order at your company's holiday party. If you're not in kindergarten, you have no business drinking apple juice anymore. And mixing apple juice with whiskey just makes you look like a kindergartner who is trying to pretend to be a grown-up. If you're looking for a more grown-up whiskey cocktail, try a mint julep instead.

Just say no to crack pipe shots

Let's get one thing straight: Ordering a drink named after drug paraphernalia is the opposite of cool. Which is why you should definitely be embarrassed to go into a bar and ask for a crack pipe shot. But apparently, someone out there is doing it — and they should be embarrassed.

According to Tipsy Bartender, the crack pipe shot is actually a real thing that you can ask for by name. The shot is made with equal parts Wild Turkey, Rumple Minze, and 151-proof rum — and as the name implies, all that is going to hit you pretty hard.

Considering that certain bottles of Wild Turkey bourbon whiskey are 101-proof (or 81-proof at the least), Rumple Minze peppermint schnapps is 100-proof, and 151 rum is well, 151-proof, this is not a shot for a novice drinker (or any drinker who wants to remain standing, really.). It doesn't even bother adding fruit juice or soda to make it go down smoother, probably because there's not much that can make that happen for this one. One shot contains enough alcohol to keep you going throughout the night, but of course, no one doing a crack pipe shot is going to stop at just one, and will likely have to hear some pretty embarrassing stories the next day. If the name isn't enough to make you not order it, the probable aftermath should be.

Put down the Alabama Slammers

According to Difford's Guide, the drink we know today as the Alabama Slammer was born on the University of Alabama campus in the late 1960's as a fruity shot before it became a full-fledged cocktail. The Alabama Slammer recipe is a marriage of Southern Comfort, amaretto, sloe gin, and orange juice in a cocktail that resembles a beautiful sunset but tastes more like a juice box than a stiff drink. The brightly-colored drink even made it to the big screen in the classic film, Cocktail, which made almost every guy want to be a bartender. In the movie, Tom Cruise's character, Brian Flanagan (aka the Last Barman Poet) gave the pretty and fruity drink a shout out in his famous poem scene in the film.

Sure, the Alabama Slammer experienced boosts in popularity over the years, and can still be found on the menu of practically every dive bar and restaurant chain in America (and especially in Alabama), but that doesn't mean you should order it. As Waiter Rant says, ordering this drink means that you've "read the 'Have a Cocktail' placemat at the diner once too often." Either that, or you're a 22-year-old girl on spring break with your besties in South Beach.

Just say no to SoCo and lime

Southern Comfort typically shares shelf space with the many types of whiskey in the world, leaving most people to think that it's just one of the guys. However, as HuffPost points out, it is technically more like a whiskey-flavored liqueur with fruit and spices — enough to be an embarrassment to whiskey on its own. But don't let the sweetness fool you. The spirit, which comes in original, 80, and 100-proof versions, packs a powerful punch.

When it's not served neat or on the rocks, Southern Comfort, or SoCo as it is affectionately nicknamed, is often paired with fruit mixers like orange and cranberry. SoCo and lime is one of the most popular combinations. According to Tipsy Bartender, this drink contains exactly what its name implies. Made with Southern Comfort and lime juice, SoCo and lime is meant to be a shooter, with a lime garnish. 

But once you leave college, you should probably leave this drink behind as well. This is especially true if you were known to make bad decisions after downing a few of these citrusy shots. In fact, the SoCo and lime shot made Cool Material's list of drinks you should never order after age 30. Leave the sweetened not-even-actual-whiskey shooters for the college kids and pick a grown-up drink instead.