What You Need To Know About Chrissy Teigen's Bizarre Alter-Ego Chrissy Gogurt

Chrissy Teigen did something magical recently. She transformed into her alter-ego: the star-farting, pop-star wannabe, Cravings brand ambassador, who wears nails that would make Dolly Parton drool. Meet Chrissy Gogurt, whose existence was brought to our attention via an Instagram post, and who describes herself as an influencer, artist, singer/songwriter, and, just generally, "HERE and READY."

Here's what we know. On Twitter, Teigen announced she'd saved up the money for Chrissy Gogurt, after Cravings "sold out of the tie-dye robes in one day." Her tie-dye robes market at $88 a pop, so Gogurt must not come cheap. And while Chrissy Teigen might be a supermodel, Gogurt rocks pink ponytails that remind you of The Spice Girls meeting the Kardashians. She sports star decals on her eyes and matching top-of-the-head hair buns, right out of the K-Pop girl band style manual. Gogurt also owns a pair of thigh-hugging boots that look like disco balls and somehow pulls off velour leggings. If Chrissy Gogurt represents the essence of Cravings products (which range from cookbooks and spice kits to anything to face crystals), then everything that Teigen sells must taste like the rainbow, and feel like the first time that Winnie the Pooh ate cotton candy. 

Chrissy Teigen as Chrissy Gogurt, might be, as she suggests in a subsequent Instagram post, a joke gone too far, but social media users most definitely want her to stick around. After Teigen posted a "day in the life" YouTube video, eager (if slightly miffed) viewers begged, "We absolutely need a whole series of Chrissy Gogurt," "I didn't realize how much I actually needed this," and "Chrissy I don't know what this is but it's hilarious and I'm here for it."

We get it. It's extremely, almost impossibly difficult to get Chrissy Gogurt out of your head, once you've watched her in action. Gogurt is a woman who wakes up at midday to "get into glam" and spends four and a half to five magical hours applying neon makeup, glitter, face crystals, and tight-fitting tracksuits that even Barbie isn't cool enough to pull off. At one point in the video, she measures the water she pours into her braiser (yes, Gogurt pours water in her braiser) with her impossibly long, fake fingernails. Of course, she gets spray tans, every single night before bed. When she performs with John Legend, she sings from the bathroom, because, "the acoustics are better." At another point in the YouTube video, when Gogurt gets hungry, she opens up a box of hamburgers, her pink-mauve wig spilling over them, and into them. You'd cringe, but somehow you don't. That's the Gogurt effect.

Chrissy Teigen's alter-ego, Chrissy Gogurt, is unfathomably bizarre. She's also precisely what 2021 needs.