This Paul Hollywood Bread Painting Will Haunt You

The name "Paul Hollywood" has become synonymous with bread, thanks to the baker of artisanal breads' tenure as a steely-eyed judge on "The Great British Baking Show" (aka "The Great British Bake Off"). Nevertheless, Paul Hollywood is not, actually, made of bread. But perhaps someone ought to break that news to Reddit user @APeaceEnthusiast. Just yesterday, the user posted a rather haunting work of visual art that they painted themselves, which, as the OP so succinctly put it, depicted "Paul Hollywood as bread" (via Reddit). Indeed, along with these words, @APeaceEnthusiast posted a painting of Paul Hollywood — as bread.

"I can't explain why, but it had to be done," according to the OP. But as much as we love Paul Hollywood and hang on every single carb-and-grain-laden word he has to say, we kind of wish that it hadn't — been done, that is. Because this painting of Paul Hollywood as bread is going to haunt us in our dreams. And we CAN explain why. 

Well, hello there Paul Hollywood as a loaf of bread

The painting of Paul Hollywood as bread posted by Reddit user @APeaceEnthusiast on September 28 featured a primitivistic approximation of Paul Hollywood's face — painted on what appears to be a primitivistic loaf of French bread (via Radford College). Although we don't hold ourselves out to be credentialed critics of fine art, we thought we would share our thoughts.

First and foremost, do we think this is a work of creative genius? Well, a bit of yes and a bit of no. It is something of a genius work. Nevertheless, the Paul Hollywood/bread connection strikes us as perhaps a bit too "obvious" to be considered unequivocally creative. Now, do we think it's creepy? Absolutely. It's already haunting our dreams, but not because of the face on the bread. Rather, the loaf of bread with Paul Hollywood's face appears to be leaning in for a handshake — with a hand made of "plaited bread," as the OP noted. And this, despite all the warnings about social distancing!  

Certainly, we understand that loaves of bread cannot reasonably be expected to obey societal mandates. But perhaps this bread painting of Paul Hollywood would be somewhat less haunting if the hand were made of a bread we found less enticing. Like, sourdough, for instance? Not that sourdough isn't delicious. It's just that won't it always remind us of the pandemic?