The Best And Worst Costco Bakery Cakes, Tried And Ranked

It's hard to separate the name Costco from enormous portions. As someone who recently purchased roughly $70 worth of Kirkland bacon, I understand that getting anything "normal" size from the chain feels a bit unlikely, but it is possible for some items. If you're looking to get a cake, a half sheet cake order will serve 48 people, but if you're not intent on feeding the entire office, Costco does offer more reasonably sized cakes and cheesecakes.

To find out which cake to bring to your next gathering, Mashed sent me to Costco to try them all. I found four cakes and two cheesecakes readily available in the bakery section of my local store. In a place where buying 30 rolls of toilet paper is commonplace, I can confirm that purchasing more than 15 pounds of cake at 9 a.m. will still draw some looks, but it was worth it in the name of a good review. So, read on to find out which Costco cake to skip and which one takes the cake.

6. Classic Cheesecake

For a large stretch of my childhood and well into my twenties, I didn't eat cheesecake. It's not that I disliked the dessert; it's that I liked it too much and massively overindulged on a cheesecake sampler at age seven. (I ate half of it in one sitting and regretted it thereafter.) Thankfully, adulthood has brought me back to this dense, decadent treat.

Costco's take on a cheesecake is simple, but predictably oversized, as a single cheesecake weighs four pounds and costs $19.99. A halo of white frosting is the only texture to be found across the smooth ivory surface of sweetened cream cheese. Costco's cheesecake is a little unique in that it has a very thin top layer, which gives it a smooth, glossy look. However, the interior is slightly airy, preventing the dessert from being too heavy. The filling is tasty, if unremarkable, and the same can be said about the graham cracker crust. A more buttery flavor would help give the dish a little pop, but the crust does its job if little else.

The decorative frosting around the edge is a nice touch as it offers an extra hit of sweetness in those final bites. Ultimately, Costco makes a good cheesecake, but it needs some extra punch. I would recommend berries or a drizzle of chocolate sauce to liven things up before serving to your guests. 

5. Mocha Crunch Bar Cake

While taking photos for this piece, I mixed up the lids for the Mocha Crunch Bar cake and the yet-to-come Tuxedo Cake. Both are the same shape, and there's nothing to say they couldn't be switched based on appearances. I figured I'd look up an image of one or both to confirm before taking a bite, but then I cut into the Mocha Crunch Bar Cake and knew exactly which one I'd selected — my kitchen immediately smelled like a coffee shop.

If you really like coffee, you're going to like the Mocha Crunch Bar Cake. If you're lukewarm or completely out on the caffeinated beverage, this is not the cake for you. With layers of cake, mocha mousse, cappuccino mousse, and mocha crunch, it's hard to tell exactly where the strongest coffee flavor comes from because it permeates every bite. The chocolate cake is moist, while the mousses are light and airy with a sweetness that's far from overpowering.

The real star of this cake, though, is the crunch. The second-to-last of six layers, the crunch is some kind of wafer and mousse combination that reminded me of a Kit-Kat bar. Costco needs to drop everything and incorporate this into every other cake ASAP. The added texture is absolutely phenomenal. I would put it up there with the Oreo and fudge in a Dairy Queen ice cream cake as one of the standout layers in any dessert. Overall, the crunch is great, the coffee is strong, and the cake is fine, but not my favorite for $18.99.

4. Pumpkin Cheesecake

Costco is no stranger to seasonal and limited-time offerings, some of which have included Carrot Cake, Maple Butter Pecan Cake, and the Pumpkin Cheesecake. I sampled the pumpkin cheesecake after the Classic Cheesecake, so I had a frame of reference, and I'm glad I did. Where the classic version is appropriately boring, the pumpkin variant is a blend of a pumpkin pie, a cream pie, and a cheesecake.

Resting on top of the standard graham cracker crust are two unique layers of pumpkin-flavored toppings. The topmost is a hearty spiced pumpkin whipped cream covered in crumbled graham cracker bits, while the bottom is a pumpkin cheesecake. The whipped layer is obviously lighter than a traditional cheesecake filling, yet still on the heavier side of whipped cream. The spices taste like fall. Meanwhile, the lower layer is a pleasant blend of pumpkin pie and cheesecake. The hallmark grittiness of real pumpkin is present throughout, evoking a creamy, rich pumpkin pie experience.

Together, these layers work really well. Whereas a standard cheesecake can be dense throughout, the whipped top layer adds some lightness, while the lower layer packs in pumpkin flavor. If you're looking to mix up your dessert offerings this fall, skip the classic cheesecake and leave the pumpkin pie at home in favor of the combination, which you can snag for $21.99.

3. Chocolate Cake

A thick, rich slice of chocolate cake belongs on the Mount Rushmore of desserts. It's the ultimate comfort food, and Costco delivers on the concept with a two-layer, 10-inch round cake for $17.99. While most of the pre-made cakes say Happy Birthday on them, I was able to find one decorated with white frosting flowers — perfect for any occasion.

Simplicity can be beautiful, and in this case, a simple, no-frills approach to chocolate cake works perfectly. The cake itself is spongy, moist, and wonderfully cocoa-flavored. A layer of chocolate mousse in the center offers a nice textural reprieve from the sponge without going overboard on the sweetness. The same can be said for the chocolate frosting, which, for my heightened sweet tooth, could be a touch more sugary, but I hardly have complaints. The edge of the cake is frosted and then coated in cake crumbs, an innovative way to prevent the last few bites from being a frosting bonanza. There's nothing extra here, but there doesn't need to be because Costco nailed the classic chocolate cake.

2. Vanilla Cake

I absolutely love chocolate — I married a chocolate-specializing food scientist — so for a vanilla cake to rank above a chocolate one, it needs to be something special. Like its counterpart, the Costco Vanilla Cake is nothing flashy, but the execution is as close to perfect as one could hope for at the same price of $17.99.

The star of this cake is the sponge itself, which is so incredibly light and airy that it instantly reminded me of angel food cake. The vanilla frosting that I enjoyed on the classic cheesecake is back in a starring role and sharing the stage with a white chocolate mousse that edges towards a light custard. Whereas I needed fruit to liven up the cheesecake, nothing was required alongside this cake, but some fresh fruit or your favorite ice cream would hardly be an imposition. (If you want to pair vanilla ice cream with your vanilla cake, I can help you pick the right brand, too.) In a perfect world, Costco would combine its vanilla and chocolate cakes into a single, rich but light treat that would easily come in as the best cake on this list ...

1. Tuxedo Cake

We don't actually live in a perfect world, but at least Costco makes the cake of my dreams. The Tuxedo Cake is almost everything wonderful about the chocolate and vanilla cakes, shaped into a rectangle, and covered with a thick, fudgy frosting. It's cake nirvana. Ohh, and did I mention the brownie chunks?

Starting at the top, you have a thick, fudgy chocolate ganache resting on a layer of chocolate cake. Next is a layer of white chocolate mousse sitting atop a layer of chocolate mousse, with chewy brownie chunks scattered throughout. A final layer of chocolate cake pulls it all together. This cake is rich and indulgent, and I'm not ashamed about how much of it I've already eaten. 

The only way I could think to make this cake an absolute 11/10 would be to replace one layer of the chocolate cake with a layer of vanilla. File that as a suggestion, though, and not a complaint, because the only complaint related to the Tuxedo Cake is that there's not more of it. Still, for $18.99, this is a two-pound, 10-ounce dessert that'll feed you and more than a few friends.

Final thoughts and methodology

If you need a quick cake, go to Costco. Sure, your local bakery will have more options and a wider range of flavors, but if you just realized Sally in accounting has a birthday tomorrow, a Costco cake will bring genuine smiles to the office celebration. While I enjoyed the cheesecakes, the standard cakes are the best, with the Tuxedo Cake as the hands-down king of the Kirkland cakes.

I visited my local Costco and picked up all of the cakes, which I brought home to photograph and sample. My evaluations were based on taste, texture, and overall quality. Costco did not compensate me or Mashed for this review.

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