Disgusting Foods Only Your Grandparents Ate
We may receive a commission on purchases made from links.
Our grandparents' generations deserve big props for inventing some incredible meals and tasty snacks. Take Frosted Flakes, for example. Apparently, children have eaten this breakfast since 1952. And if this cereal wasn't mass-produced, what would our children be eating? Corn flakes? Like they're middle-aged caravan insurance dealers?
However, not every meal that our grandparents dreamt up was a home run. Oodles of them are downright horrific, gelatinous monstrosities — and huge mistakes. Plus, a ton of these items are no longer made. Well, except by the brave souls that taste-test the blunders of our forepeople. But even then, every single time one of these recipes is cooked up, it could very well be the last time that it's created.
Now, you may be wondering what foods could possibly be this abysmal, so let's just free fall into this knowledge. But be warned, many of the following meals look 100 percent rancid.
Your grandparents ate summer salad pie
When you imagine a summer salad pie, what ingredients appear in your mind? Cherry tomatoes, perhaps? Maybe a nice, light balsamic vinegar? A barbecued veggie or two? Well, if you envisioning these sorts of items, then you're potentially about to be let down.
According to Mid-Century Menu, this 1963 dish that our grandparents may have eaten has three different components. It has a cheesy pie shell, which honestly sounds pretty lit. Nevertheless, this crust is filled with a lemon or tomato jelly (tomato aspic) that's mixed with tons of vegetables. And to top it all off, a tuna salad is smothered over this mush.
Jen R. L. Disarray reviewed this pie for Persephone Magazine and felt like creating one was a bad idea. She expounded, "Tomato aspic remains one of those foods that you should only ever attempt to consume in small doses. And hopefully spaced out between long, blissful years of not eating tomato aspic."
Your grandparents ate prawn-stuffed apples
Do you know who would love an apple that's stuffed full of prawns (besides your grandparents)? Tim Burton. He wouldn't eat it though. He'd film an undead mermaid take a bite out off one and then have them creepily announce it's delectable. This combo just feels completely fantastical.
But this concoction is all too real. Vintage Recipe Cards broke down this 1967 recipe for our amusement and horror. To make this dish, you firstly need to hollow out an apple. You then mix this flesh with prawns or shrimps, Tabasco sauce, thick mayonnaise, and a couple of other ingredients. After that, you smush this paste into the apple, toothpick a prawn plus an olive, and plant the stick in the top.
In an instructional video, YouTuber Bunny Woodcock cooks up a prawn-stuffed apple and then tries this dish. "Goodness," she grimaces. "You can taste that Tabasco!" This comment makes the meal all the more frightening because this terror shouldn't bite back.
Your grandparents ate jellygrill sandwiches
A grilled cheese sandwich can be delicious. A jelly sandwich can be delicious. A sandwich that stars both grilled cheese and jelly sounds like the opposite of that aforementioned adjective, despite what your grandparents might say.
Yet, such a snack did actually exist. Retro Food Ghoul 'grammed an old ad for it that Kraft apparently made. This picture features a sandwich with grape jam and Velveeta cheese oozing out of its sides. It also says, "Bite into the taste of natural fruit." Strangely, the ad forget to mention the two slices of bread and the cheese that would dull this the fruity flavor. Although, it seems as if Kraft has stood by its their recipe, as the company has published it on Facebook.
Retro Food Ghoul also made this dish for an Instagram video. In the text next to the clip, they said, "I hit a bit that was more cheese than jelly wooooo boy it is not a good flavor. Something about jelly and dairy just doesn't work for me." This account concluded near the end of their review, "I don't think this is gonna replace the more normal grilled cheese or PBJ combo anytime soon." And you know what? That's probably for the best.
Your grandparents ate liver sausage pineapples
If you were cut into a pineapple-shaped meal, you'd probably hope that it tastes sweet and tangy. Do you know what you'd probably not want it to taste like? Meaty liver sausage.
A journalist named Richard Noone reviewed this bona fide recipe for Daily Telegraph. He reported that it comes from a 1953 Better Homes and Gardens cookbook and that it contains a bold combination of ingredients that our grandparents apparently enjoyed. This meal stars liverwurst, mayonnaise, and gelatine, just to name a few.
Unsurprisingly, Noone didn't adore this dish. He said, "The first thing you notice is the smell. That seemingly inviting yellow icing can't shield the pungent liverwurst lurking beneath. Taking a bite, the next assault is the pate-like texture before the overwhelming taste of liver collides on with sugary icing." If Noone's judgment is anything to go by, then this retro recipe should be left in the history books.
Your grandparents ate sausage-bean pizzas
Deep dish pizza can be great, calzones can be amazing, and even Domino's can be decent. Not every pizza has to be cooked in a Venetian wood-fired oven to be classified as a pizza. Nevertheless, we have to draw the line somewhere, even if our grandparents didn't. And therefore, a sausage-bean pizza should be categorized as a mistake.
This interesting-looking recipe was archived by Vintage Recipe Cards. To make this dish, you need to bake some pizza dough that's covered with tomato sauce, pork, beans, Italian sausages, oregano, tomato, and cheese. Which doesn't sound that lousy in theory. But it's the look of this meal that makes it a flop. A sea of too many beans swamps the crust. It's crowned with a confounding halo of tomatoes. Worst of all, the cheese is concentrated just in the middle. To call this unaesthetic mixture a pizza is to insult almost every other pie that you've ever eaten.
Your grandparents ate Miracle Whip on pears
Seriously, how did this meal come into existence for our grandparents? Who was the sadistic mortal that looked at a pear, looked at a bottle of Miracle Whip, and then invited this dish? Were they trying to hurt humanity, or were they attempting to make a tasty dish?
While we may never find the answers to these questions, we do know that this snack was advertised in magazines. In September of 1955, Kraft took out a full-page ad promoting this combo in Woman's Day. "Only Miracle Whip can make pears taste so good!" it declares. "Miracle Whip was specially created to make even the simplest salads exciting. With just a pear half and a lettuce leaf, you have a wonderful salad when you use Miracle Whip."
Food vlogger Emmy Cho put these claims to the test in a YouTube video of hers. "Here it is! Miracle Whip and Pears," she exclaims while presenting this dish to the camera. "Look how the mayo jiggles! Alright, let's do this all proper like, I've got a fork and a knife." She then eats a forkful and says, "Well, I didn't really like that bite." Cho takes a few more bites out of her meal before admitting, "I would just rather eat the pear by itself."
Your grandparents ate cranberry salad candles
These days, you can find a lot of yummy-smelling candles at your local store. Food & Wine outlined that there are sugar cookie candles, apple strudel candles, buttered maple syrup candles, and so many more to choose from. However, just because a burning stick smells tasty doesn't necessarily mean that you want to eat it.
It seems as if the mayo brand Hellman's disagreed with this sentiment at one point in our grandparents' time. Country Living claimed that the company released an edible, cranberry candle recipe sometime during the '60s. The publication additionally included a scan of an old advert that's promoting this dish. It reads, "Who'd dream a salad so impressive could be so easy to make! The delicate creaminess and fresh flavor of Hellman's Real Mayonnaise make it possible."
This ad also outlined how you make these ... treats? All you need to do is make a salty, lemony gelatin and then fold cranberry sauce, cranberries, a piece of fruit, and some walnuts into it. Put this syrup into candle-shaped molds, wait for the jelly to set, and then mix it with mayo. But how do you make the wicks so can literally burn this depravity? Wildly, Hellman's suggested that you cut a birthday candle in half and jam it into your meal.
There are no two ways about it, eating a candle for dinner is a chaotic vibe.
Your grandparents ate sardine-egg canapes
Who doesn't love a good canape? Not only can they save you from awkward small talk at your brother's Batman-themed engagement party, but they're also yummy most of the time. Like, a fresh arancini ball can easily be the highlight of a dull night out.
But not every canape from our grandparents' time deserves a round of applause. And truth be told, the sardine-egg ones on Vintage Recipe Cards deserve to be booed. This recipe was published in 1973 and combines the two prior ingredients with salt, pepper, olives, mayonnaise, mustard, pimento, and horseradish, among other somewhat surprising extras.
Look, these things may not be the worst-tasting dish ever to grace planet Earth. That being said, their appearance is gobsmackingly vile. These sickly looking, half-cut eggs are garnished with whole sardines, olive slices, and Xs seemingly made out of pimento. Even if they tasted decent, their presentation would still tether them to the realm of abominable foods.
Your grandparents ate snowy chicken confetti salad
Did you ever make a cut-out poem as a kid when you were in school? You take a newspaper, cut out all the words from an article, shake them in a bag, and then take these clippings out one by one. The first word that you remove is the first word of your poem, the second is your second, and so on. The phrase "Snowy Chicken Confetti Salad" doesn't sound like honest-to-goodness food, but it does sound like the first line from one of these poems.
In 1958, Chicago Daily Tribune reported that the Snowy Chicken Confetti Salad was a recipe that was featured in a Better Homes and Gardens cookbook, which our grandparents may have read. But by now, the recipe has made its way around the internet. The ingredient list includes green pepper, chicken, mayo, celery, lemon juice, pimento, and some other unholy ingredients that come together to make a "salad" unlike anything you'd see on a Sweetgreen menu these days.
A writer called Robert Evans made, tested, and berated this dish for Cracked. He remarked that it tasted like a Cobb salad merged with a marshmallow. So, if that's your cup of tea, then feel free to revitalize this Frankenstein's monster once more.
Your grandparents ate diet Dr Pepper's strawberry Bavarian
There's an actual Dr Pepper cookbook that's filled with Dr Pepper recipes. It's called Cookin' With Dr. Pepper, and this idea was released into the wild for our grandparents in 1965. Do you want to try bean dip a La Dr. Pepper? According to the Dr Pepper Museum, you can find this meal in the manual. Are you interested in trying a roast that's marinated in Dr Pepper? Well, austin360 noted that such instructions are also contained in these Dr Pepper pages.
Another dish in this book is a Diet Dr Pepper Strawberry Bavarian. Robin Wheeler rediscovered this dessert, tried some, and wrote about the experience for Riverfront Times. They declared that it wasn't good, but that it was easy to keep eating more of. Wheeler also said, "This might be the least-natural food item I've ever eaten. Only the animal by-product collagen in the gelatin came from nature. I guess it's possible that the oily finish of the Dream Whip came from petroleum wrought from old dinosaurs. Otherwise, we have a completely factory-made concoction — and, damn, does it show. It's a melange of chemical aftertastes."
Your grandparents ate ham and banana hollandaise
There are a multitude of sweet and salty snacks that are worth eating. Salted caramel popcorn, anyone? Pumpkin fries? Chocolate pretzels? How about ham and bana—no. Ham and banana hollandaise isn't worth looking at, let alone putting in your mouth.
The recipe for this from Vintage Recipe Cards is pretty straightforward. You cover a banana with lemon juice, ham, and mustard, then bake it for ten minutes. While this mess is in the oven, whip up a hollandaise sauce that'll be poured over the top. And if you want your snack to be a bit fancier, substitute regular ham for pineapple-glazed ham. Could this addition elevate such a dish? Definitely — it could make this meal a D-minus.
If you're curious about how these bananas taste, then the YouTube channel Making It Modern has got you. In one of their videos, the host Bethany Herwegh tries this combo and isn't elated with the results. "It is more vile than I ever imagined," Herwegh states after taking a bite. "The hollandaise sauce tastes like gelatinous onion soup mix, which is horrible. And the banana is hot and mushy." We're not quite sure why our grandparents decided to make this dish.