Girl Scout Cookies ranked from worst to first

Eating Girl Scout Cookies has become a yummy annual tradition for Americans from sea to shining sea. You simply pick your favorite variety of Girl Scout Cookies and once the box is in your hands, you gleefully stuff your face. Not only will your taste buds thank you, you don't feel as guilty about the extra calories because the money you spent on the cookies raises funds for Girl Scouts to empower the next generation of brilliant, mighty, and ambitious women that will one day run the world.

The origins of Girls Scouts using cookies to fund their endeavors can be traced back to Muskogee, Oklahoma over 100 years ago. That's when, in 1917, a high school cafeteria was home to the first cookies sold by Girl Scouts. By the 1940s, Girl Scout Cookies had become a national phenomenon and some of the flavors from that era are still around today.

While you have a lot of choices when selecting the variety of Girl Scout Cookies you will buy (varieties vary depending on where you live), not all the choices are created equally. Here's the definitive ranking of Girl Scout Cookies (including a few retired flavors we won't ever forget), starting with the worst and ending with the best. 

Toffee-tastic Girl Scout Cookies

Toffee-tastic is gluten-free — and that fact is painfully obvious. These cookies are extremely crumbly and not in a satisfying way. Instead, if the cookie hasn't crumbled before you  pick it up, it's possible that it will fall apart before you can successfully transport it to your face's cookie hole.

The texture once you take a bite is entirely unpleasant — it's like eating a mixture of sand and chalk. If you don't keep your lips closed while chewing and swallowing, don't be surprised if a plume of cookie dust begins to emanate from your mouth.

To take matters from bad to worse, the flavor is lacking. There's not enough toffee in these cookies to be worthy of the Toffee-tastic moniker — but just enough toffee chunks to annoyingly get stuck in your teeth. To top it off, these bland cookies are salty. In fact, the saltiness is the primary flavor you'll taste after eating two or three of these things.

Even if Toffee-tastic is the last variety of Girl Scout Cookies left when you're ordering, you should still pass. These cookies are hardly edible and not worth the trouble or mess.

Lemon-Ups Girl Scout Cookies

A new variety of Girl Scout Cookies for this year, Lemon-Ups are a home run when it comes to encouragement and motivation, as each cookie contains an inspirational message. Depending on the cookie, you will see a message like "I am a go-getter" or "I am strong." While the words are noble and could bolster your day, that's about the extent of the list of positives when it comes to Lemon-Ups.

Beyond the messaging, these cookies fail to pick a lane. Instead of being either a sweet treat or a delightfully sour goody, Lemon-Ups tried to achieve both — and the result is an unmitigated disaster. The first thing you'll taste when bite into one of these crispy Girl Scout Cookies is the sweetness from the iced bottom of the cookie. Unfortunately, the sweet flavoring is unpleasantly overpowering. Before your taste buds have time to adjust to the sweetness, you are hit with an equally pungent sour sensation from softer top of the cookie.

While the multiple textures of Lemon-Ups is somewhat pleasing for your mouth and the inspirational messages could brighten your day, the actual taste of these cookies will have you regretting your choice if you select this variety of Girl Scout Cookies.

Thanks-A-Lot Girl Scout Cookies

If you like cookies that coat shortbread with chocolate, you may be tempted by Thanks-A-Lot Girl Scout Cookies. Visually, these cookies look like the perfect selection. But once you try one, you'll realize the taste doesn't live up to their appearance or what you were expecting. These cookies aren't bad, mind you, but compared to something like Milano cookies or even generic cookies you can find at Trader Joe's, Thanks-A-Lot cookies are underwhelming.

The main issue with these Girl Scout Cookies is the fact that the chocolate fudge doesn't have enough flavor. Instead of a chocolatey rush, you only get a waxy disappointment. The shortbread is acceptable but it doesn't make up for the depressing excuse for chocolate. The only thing that will help to keep your spirits up are the words "Thank You" on each cookie. In fact, the "Thank You" may come in any of five languages including Swahili and Chinese.

Apparently, the Girl Scouts have gotten the message regarding the disappointing quality of their Thanks-A-Lot cookies because they are cancelling them as of 2021. Until then, if a Girl Scout offers you a box of these cookies, say no thanks.

Lemonades Girl Scout Cookies

The sad fact of the matter is that Girl Scout Cookies of the lemon variety are always subpar. They can make all types of great goodies — but always come up short when lemons are involved. Lemonades aren't as woeful as the aforementioned Lemon-Ups, but they're still not worth buying.

On one side of these cookies, you will find shortbread. On the other side, you will discover lemon icing. Unfortunately, the shortbread is just a placeholder and lacks much of a distinguishable taste, while the lemon icing has too much of an artificial flavor. Lemonades actually taste like those diet cookies you ate once and learned never to eat again.

Soon, Lemonades and Lemon-Ups will join the ranks of other lemon-infused Girl Scout Cookies that were failures, alongside Savannah Smiles and Lemon Chalet Cremes. Instead of trying a new lemon concoction seemingly every year, the Girl Scouts would be smart to just give up on their dream of making a quality citrus flavored cookie.

Unless you really, really want a lemon cookie, these shouldn't be the Girl Scout Cookies you order. If you do order them, limit your order to one box because you'll be tired of them by then.

Caramel Chocolate Chip Girl Scout Cookies

There's a lot to like about the Caramel Chocolate Chip variety of Girl Scout Cookies. If you like standard chocolate chip cookies, you will love these. The chips are scrumptious morsels of semisweet chocolate, the caramel flavor is unmistakable and rich, and there's even a perfect pinch of sea salt in each cookie to enhance all the flavors.

While Caramel Chocolate Chip is a winner taste-wise, the fact that it's gluten-free causes it to have many of the same shortcomings as the previously mentioned Toffee-tastic cookies. When you think of a chocolate chip cookie, you're envisioning a soft goodness that melts on your tongue. But since these cookies are missing gluten and gluten is what gives cookies their softness and elasticity, the texture of these Girl Scout Cookies will leave you feeling let down.

If you aren't one of the less than one percent of the population in North America with celiac disease and you don't care about the texture of your cookies, have at it. But be warned that you'll be dreaming about your grandma's soft and chewy chocolate chip cookies by the time you get halfway through a box of these.

Girl Scout S'mores by ABC Bakers

Girl Scout Cookies are made by two different bakers: ABC Bakers and Little Brownie Bakers. While one baker isn't noticeably and consistently better than the other, the cookies they produce aren't exactly the same even if the name is the same. That's most obvious when it comes to Girl Scout S'mores, as the two bakers take a completely different approach.

Girl Scout S'mores by ABC Bakers are covered with chocolate. Inside of the chocolate coating you will discover exactly what you'd expect in a s'more: graham cracker and marshmallow. ABC Bakers puts a lot more graham cracker than marshmallow, which could be disappointing for those who love s'mores for their marshmallowy goodness. Additionally, some of ABC Bakers' Girl Scout S'mores have more marshmallow than others, which makes each bite a bit of a mystery.

The chocolate coating sounds good in theory but it can get a bit messy in actuality. On a hot summer day, you'll be spending as much of your time licking the chocolate off your fingers as you will spend reaching for your next cookie.

Girl Scout S'mores by Little Brownie Bakers

The Girl Scout S'mores made by Little Brownie Bakers are a step above those made by ABC Bakers. The most prominent difference is the fact that these don't have a chocolate coating. Instead, the chocolate rests inside the cookie between a consistently lush layer of marshmallow and a graham cracker-like exterior. The result is a cookie that is simply better. Not only is it less messy without the chocolate coating, the chocolate inside of it is richer, the marshmallow is more genuinely gooey, and the graham sandwich holding it all together tastes like it came straight from one of your childhood campfires.

The Girl Scouts have a long history when it comes to s'mores. In fact, without the Girl Scouts, s'mores may not even exist. While humans have been mixing chocolate and marshmallows since the Victorian era in the 1800s, the very first time a s'mores recipe appeared in print was in a guidebook called "Tramping and Trailing with the Girl Scouts" back in 1927. At the time, the recipe was called "Some More" but as time passed, the abbreviated name became a part of America's culture. So, the next time you see a Girl Scout, thank her for s'mores and buy a box — especially if she has the Girl Scout S'mores made by Little Brownie Bakers.

Shortbread/Trefoils Girl Scout Cookies

Shortbread and Trefoils are Girl Scout Cookies that are basically the same. Shortbread cookies are made by ABC Bakers, while Trefoils cookies are made by Little Brownie Bakers. What makes these cookies so good is their simplicity. There's nothing special, complicated, or fancy at work — it's just shortbread. But this shortbread manages to have a splendid buttery taste while still packing a satisfying crunch. The taste and texture is close to perfect for what these cookies have to work with. The only thing stopping these goodies from rising on this ranking is the fact that eventually your taste buds will want something a little more complex.

If you have a choice of either Shortbread cookies by ABC Bakers or Trefoils cookies by Little Brownie Bakers, go with the Trefoils. While Trefoils have slightly more calories and slightly more fat than Shortbread, they have a rich buttery taste that makes it worth it. That said, Shortbread cookies are fine in their own right and you shouldn't skip them just because Trefoils aren't available.

Scot-Teas Girl Scout Cookies

Trefoils can't be mentioned without shouting out a blast from the past named Scot-Teas. These Girl Scout Cookies were just like Trefoils except they kicked things up a notch with the addition of sugar sprinkled on top of each cookie. While Trefoils can get boring after a while (say, four or five boxes in), the added sugary surprise ensured that Scot-Teas didn't suffer the same fate.

Why did the Girl Scouts get rid of Scot-Teas? That's a very good question, as Scot-Teas had been around since 1959. The move didn't go unnoticed — there's even a Facebook page calling for the return of Scot-Teas. Maybe the sugar was removed for health reasons or maybe the sugar was removed to make the production process easier. Either way, hopefully the Girl Scouts bring these cookies back one day.

Just like the Shortbread and Trefoils, Scot-Teas had a trefoil shape. Considering the Girl Scouts have a trefoil logo, these cookies inherently carry a special meaning to each Girl Scout across the country.

Juliettes Girl Scout Cookies

Speaking of discontinued Girl Scout Cookies, Juliettes are another favorite from yesteryear. These cookies were only available for a total of six years: 1984, 1985, 1993, 1994, 1995, and 1996. While they've been gone for more than two decades, they're still very much missed.

Juliettes were coated with milk chocolate, much like the Girl Scout S'mores made by ABC Bakers. Within the milk chocolate was a delicious combination of pecan pieces and flavorful caramel. If you like pralines and cream ice cream, these tasty snacks would have taken you directly to cookie heaven.

The name of these cookies paid homage to Juliette Gordon Low, the founder of the Girl Scouts of the USA. Born in 1860, she made Girl Scouts a reality in 1912 with the hopes of empowering girls and helping them to reach their potential in life. Needless to say, she was wildly successful and her dream has become reality. Along the path to reaching that goal, the rest of the population has been blessed with wonderful cookies to enjoy. That continues to be a rather tasty byproduct of Juliette Gordon Low's success.

Do-si-dos/Peanut Butter Sandwich Girl Scout Cookies

While lemon flavored Girl Scout Cookies are consistently a disappointment, their peanut butter varieties are almost always wonderful. That holds true for Do-si-dos if you're buying the cookies made by Little Brownie Bakers, or the Peanut Butter Sandwich cookies if you're buying ABC Bakers' version. Do-si-dos and Peanut Butter Sandwich cookies look exactly the same and taste exactly the same.

The outer layer of this cookie sandwich is made with oatmeal. The oatmeal has a pleasing crunch about it that adds to the texture and the overall experience of eating these cookies. Inside the cookie is a luscious slathering of peanut butter. The peanut butter is the creamy type that will tickle your taste buds as it dissolves in your mouth. As a whole, the cookie has a perfected balance of sweetness and saltiness that will have you coming back for more and more.

While Do-si-dos and Peanut Butter Sandwich cookies taste the same, it should be noted that Do-si-dos cookies have slightly more carbs while Peanut Butter Sandwich cookies have slightly more calories. Evidently, the recipe and composition is different, but you won't be able to tell.

Peanut Butter Patties/Tagalongs Girl Scout Cookies

Another peanut butter-powered slam dunk are the Peanut Butter Patties and Tagalongs. These Girl Scout Cookies don't just have a coating of chocolate, they have a full-blown shell of chocolate. Once you crack the shell, you will be met by a fiesta of peanut butter. While the peanut butter isn't as creamy as what you'll find in the Do-si-dos and Peanut Butter Sandwich cookies, it's even better tasting. It has a deep peanut flavor that meshes with the chocolate to form a power couple that is a force to behold.

There isn't a more iconic due than peanut butter and chocolate. From Reese's Peanut Butter Cups to Peanut Butter M&M's, this combination is sure to satisfy your sweet tooth while being surprisingly filling.

Peanut Butter Patties are made by ABC Bakers, while Tagalongs are made by Little Brownie Bakers. Although they aren't an exact replica of each other taste-wise, they're close enough to be interchangeable.

Thin Mints Girl Scout Cookies

If you live for mint-flavored snacks, Thin Mints will make your dreams come true. These aren't just the best mint cookies on the market, they might be the best mint-flavored food available anywhere. They're that good.

A coating of chocolate is entrusted to hold together the minty goodness. Thin Mints are perfectly round and are the perfect snack when lounging in front of the television, on the go, or as a dessert after dinner. The only way you won't enjoy this variety of Girl Scout Cookies is if you don't like mint to begin with. Otherwise, there's no chance you'll take a bite of one of these things and not be overjoyed.

Thin Mints have a storied history dating back to 1939, when they were known as "Cooky-Mints." Through the years, the name has changed multiple times — including the names "Chocolate Mint" and "Cookie Mint" — but they've remained a favorite for everyone smart enough to take their first bite of one. If you haven't tried a Thin Mint, do the smart thing and go track down a box. Before you know it, you'll be stockpiling them in your freezer for a year-round cool treat.

Caramel deLites/Samoas Girl Scout Cookies

Not only are Caramel deLites (if made by ABC Bakers) and Samoas (if made by Little Brownie Bakers) the best variety of Girl Scout Cookies, they are in the running for the best cookies on the planet. If these cookies aren't the best of the best, they're at least in the conversation. While those who don't like mint will have a right to shun Thin Mints, no sane person would turn down one of these cookies.

Caramel deLites and Samoas are vanilla cookies covered by rich yet smooth chocolate, mouth-watering caramel, and then blessed with toasted coconut and drizzled with more chocolate. The combination might sound daring but the result is nirvana in cookie form.

Once you get started eating these delectable goodies, you will soon realize that one or two boxes won't be enough. Even if you need to beg your neighbor's daughter who's in the Girl Scouts to re-up your supply, the extra effort will be worth it once your munching has commenced.